Maybe this will start happening again more often

Boy, time flies, eh?

So to wrap up the saga started over six months ago, I got kicked out of my nice apartment by a lunatic roommate, bummed around crashing on couches and cheap motels for a month or so, and eventually moved into a shiny new apartment.  Well, replace the words "shiny" and "new" with "shitty" and "old", but you get the idea.

Not to say that I live in some slum... I actually like my current apartment a lot.  It is overflowing with character, the bills aren't too high, and the location is great.  I miss having a dishwasher and central air, but the joy of not having to wear pants unless I'm going somewhere outweighs having to wash my own dishes and Soviet era boxes of cold in my windows.

I never did find out what happened to make my old roommate go bananas on me, and I've resigned myself to never knowing.  It will be one of life's little mysteries, like why is the sky blue, and what is the big deal about the Avett Brothers.

-- In other news, I am now a member of the One Grandparent Alive Club.  My paternal grandmother passed away a couple of days after Christmas.  She was a wonderful lady in life, and I miss her a lot more than I thought I would.  She had Alzheimer's and several strokes over the past few years, and has basically been a vegetable since 2005 or so.  I hadn't seen her in years, a decision that I thought I might regret when she passed, but I really don't.  I remember the kind woman whose cookie jar was never empty, and remarked how much I looked like a "Chinaman" when I was growing my hair out, and wore it in a topknot.  You don't usually get to know ahead of time when the last time you will ever see someone is going to be, but my grandmother's condition afforded me that opportunity.  I sat beside her bed, held her hand, and told her that I loved her, and I missed her, and I don't know if she understood me or knew who I was, but I have no regrets.

It's funny what gets you though.  I went with my parents to the nursing home to get Nana's belongings, and in a box on top of the cart loaded with her stuff was a portrait of my dad and his two brothers as boys that hung in my grandparents' den.  I hadn't seen or thought of that picture in I don't know how long, but seeing it again was a gut punch I didn't expect.  Oh well, I remember the good times, as well as the bad.  But I try to focus more on the good.

--  Oh yeah, one more thing... I quit my job today (yesterday).  I had an interview with another hotel Friday morning, and they called me Monday afternoon with a job offer.  It's a lateral move pay-wise, but I'll be working 10 hour shifts instead of 8, which means 3 days off a week, as well as regular pay raises and advancement opportunities.  My current hotel has been great (for the most part) despite all the bitching I've done here and elsewhere.  I will miss all my coworkers a lot, but felt like I needed this change.  With my luck I'll hate it and be back here by March.  We'll see.

Anyhow, I guess that'll do it for tonight.  I have no idea if and when I'll be updating the ole Blaaaahhhhg again, but stay tuned, folks.

dave out

What In The World Happened To Me?

So it has been a few months since I updated anything here.  Sorry about that, I guess life has been kinda getting in the way.  Cathy, my new coworker is a blast to work with, but sometimes it's kinda hard to get a word in edgewise with her, and I feel like if I just start ignoring her and writing it might be considered rude.  And you know I'm never rude.  There have been other significant changes at the ole Hotel recently.  Our owner was forced to relinquish control of the place to a management company by the bank.  The new Powers That Be all seem really nice and to have our best interests at heart.  I don't think out owner ever made the connection that by keeping his employees happy the hotel would run more smoothly.  Of course they're all staying in house this week, so Cathy The Wall and I have had to be on our best behavior, which never lasts long.  Everything just went down this week, but I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic, which has been getting harder and harder to do lately, for reasons I'll get into below.

-- The best news since my last post is the arrival of Baby Campbell.  I officially became Uncle Dave back in April, and went to visit the little guy a few days later.  I was fully prepared to grit my teeth and declare him "precious", which as we all know is code for "ugly fucking baby".  Fortunately he cleaned up pretty well in the 4 days between birth and meeting Uncle Dave, and I could honestly declare him adorable.  I was seriously worried, because those day of birth pictures made him look kinda like a lizard.

I had a great visit with the new family, and will be back in August for the 1-2 punch of a Nephew Visit and a Malamondos show in Richmond.  2 birds, 1 stone.  Hopefully Allie and Dale will be able to drop Baby Campbell off with his grandparents and come to the show as well, not to mention my cousin Mark, who lives in Richmond as well.

-- About a month ago my bank called me up out of the blue and told me that they were going to start charging me $10 a month if I couldn't keep at least $1500 in my checking account.  I tried to assure them that I wasn't being broke just to fuck with them, but they were insistent so I gave them the heave-ho and moved to a smaller local bank.  The new checking account is much better, no minimum balance, no fees, etc.  It even draws interest!  I made $0.03 last month!  The only drawback is a lot fewer ATMs, but I can make due.  Unfortunately I haven't received my ATM card yet, and it's starting to cramp my style.

--  Let's see here, what else is new... Oh yeah, I'm homeless.  Eddie had some sort of breakdown last week and was in the hospital from Tuesday to Friday.  Upon his release he sent me a text message telling me that I was no longer welcome at home, and if I tried to come in he would call the police.  But let me start at the beginning:

On Tuesday I win Trivia Night at Benders Tavern, as is my custom, and upon my arrival home I find that the keyway to my apartment door is obstructed, and a text message from Eddie that reads as follows:  (Big ole [SIC] for all texts from Eddie)

"Ure key will not wrk im n the hospital u can get ure stuff whn i out"

I respond "You OK?" and head to the ER in the wee small hours of the morning to make sure my roommate of over a year is alright.  I find him in the Emergency Room and he says that he had "a crisis".  An orderly then tells me that if I'm not family then I have to wait in the waiting room, which I do until about 6:30am.  At that point I realize that they aren't going to tell me anything, so I go home and use my picks to pull what turns out to be a toothpick out of my front door lock.  I sleep for a couple of hours and call the hospital to get his room number.  I send another text to him asking if he wants me to bring him anything from home, and when I don't hear back in a few hours go to visit him.  When I walk into his room he asks me to get his nurse, who then tells me that Eddie doesn't want guests and that I need to leave.  So I do.

The next day (Thurs) I have a meeting at work, during which I am fired, to be rehired immediately by the new management company.  New Boss (Same As The Old Boss) explained everything, and we're all hopeful, and blah blah blah.  I won't bore you with the details about that.  After the meeting I head back to the hospital to check in on Eddie.  For the record I am utterly terrified of hospitals, so Eddie should really appreciate the testicular fortitude I was summoning here.  Anyway, he had changed rooms and the hospital staff either wouldn't or couldn't tell me where he was.  So I went back home.

After I got out of work Friday morning I finally collapsed and slept all day.  I had been running on fumes for a while and it caught up with me.  About a half hour after I get to work Friday night I receive the following text messages (Again, blanket [SIC] here)

"U r no longer welcome here u can come and get ure things with an officer on sunday!  If u come here tmmrw i will call the police"

"in fact thy have been notified"

I text back "Why?" and update my Facebook status to "Dave Blankenship is now homeless".  Over the course of the night there's a great outpouring of support from my friends, one of whom suggests I call the cops myself and go get my stuff, which I do.  At 6:30 am I get the following text message:

"Again please dnt come here today we can make arrangements 4 u 2 get ure stuff tmmrw my family will b here since i eas just released from hospital i dnt want drama and i was told 2 call if u do show up"

I responded:
"I will be there with a police escort in about an hour to pick up some clothes my PS3 and computer.  You have had plenty of opportunities to avoid drama.  I'll get the rest of my stuff Sunday."

I show up about 7:30 with a cop and get a laundry basket of clean clothes and my PS3, and lock my bedroom door.

On Sunday morning I call the police again to get an escort to get the rest of my belongings, and the dispatcher tells me that I would need to get the Sheriff's Department to handle that. The Sheriff's Department is closed on weekends, so I roll the dice and see if Eddie will let me in without an escort.  After yelling through the door for a few minutes he agrees to let me into the apartment in 2 hours.  So I get some breakfast, get some gas, get some trash bags since I have no luggage, and he lets me in about 9:30am on Father's Day.  Which is where I'll pick up the rest of the story tomorrow.
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    stressed stressed

I haven't forgotten

I have something of an excuse for my recent absence from this site.  It involves training a new auditor at my hotel, and of course the International Home Furnishings Convention has once again reared its ugly head here in the Piedmont Triad.  Other than that it's been business as usual, hanging out, being broke, and watching movies.

One exciting addition to my work schedule has been hosting a weekly live trivia contest at my hotel's lounge every Thursday night.  Over the past year or so several bars in the area have started having trivia nights, and our Food and Beverage Director asked me if I would be interested in hosting one at the hotel, in an effort to drum up some business.  Since otherwise on Thursdays I would just be sitting in front of the TV at home I figured I would come to work a couple hours early and be a smarty pants for an hour or so.  Thus far it's been a lot of fun, and after only a few weeks I'm starting to get a few regulars.  I've been trying to come up with as many questions as I can to build up a large catalog of trivia so that when I burn out on the writing aspect I'll have a lot of stuff to pull from and can take a week or two off from coming up with fresh topics and questions.  I haven't pulled out my Advanced SNL Quiz that I posted here back in the day, but I'm not above it.

I'm also not above blatantly stealing questions from my friend's trivia night at Benders, where I compete every Tuesday.

--  My new auditor, Cathy (not her real name, of course), is someone with whom I have a previous relationship.  We've been friends and drinking buddies for a while now, and when she mentioned that she was looking for a job, I told her to drop by and fill out an application.  She started a few days later, training with me and The Wall.  Apparently the Powers That Be take my recommendations seriously.  Who knew?  So now we are once again fully staffed on the night shift, with what looks to be a pretty solid crew.  Cathy's a fast learner, and once I got the hang of dealing with him, The Wall turned out to be a very awesome (if slow moving) guy. 

Anyway, I started this update at work last night but got sidetracked, so I wrapped it up here at the homestead, and I just took a handful of pills, so I'm about to go to sleep.  A brief update, but hopefully I can get back into the swing of things soon.

dave out

(no subject)

Lent is right around the corner, and I will be bidding facebook a fond farewell until Easter.  I'm logging out for a month and a half, and am a little curious as to how I'll adapt to a lack of social networking.  Maybe I'll start Tweeting a lot more or something.  In any case, after Tuesday don't expect to see me on the facebook, and if you do please admonish me for making Baby Jesus cry.

--  About a month ago I fell down the stairs to my apartment.  Well, I fell about halfway down before I caught myself on the railing.  Surprisingly I didn't injure my arm.  My left knee, on the other hand, hasn't felt right since.  It's not a career ending injury or anything, but I find myself having to constantly adjust the way I'm sitting, and it's growing tiresome.  Could be worse, I guess... my maternal grandfather didn't even have knees after a while.

--  As entertaining as Charlie Sheen's unraveling is, I can't help but feel it's more than a little tragic.  The guy's obviously not well, and my inner sensors are predicting impending demise.  His super evolved brain, tiger blood, and Adonis DNA won't be enough to stave off the ill effects of what appears to be some serious drug abuse, and the (again, very entertaining) downward spiral has to bottom out soon.

I don't believe that if one chooses to use recreational drugs he's automatically abusing them or an addict.  As long as you can handle your high and still take care of your business it's nobody else's business what you do in your free time.  For years Sheen has been doing just that.  If I could afford all weekend coke binges with porn stars and whatnot and still perform my job you better believe I would, but I can't.  Actually I've never tried to.  I've only met a few porn stars, and usually one or both of us was working at the time, and cocaine is expensive.  I guess I'll just have to stick with beer and amateur floozies for the time being.  Sheen, on the other hand, can afford such extravagances, having stumbled upon a hacky sitcom that's a huge hit.  When you're making $2,000,000 a week you quickly run out of things to spend your money on... I mean once you have the houses and cars and stuff, what else is there?  I would probably spend a lot more of my free time in Vegas or something, but it eventually becomes about getting some sort of non material thrill, be it from drugs, gambling, hookers, or whatever. 

The real victims here are the rest of the cast and crew of Two and a Half Men.  They're now out of work through no fault of their own.  I have only seen a handful of episodes here and there, but Sheen's performance on it seemed to remain pretty consistent, and until his non material thrill became going on the radio and insulting his bosses there that was all they cared about.  My boss doesn't give a flying fuck what I do in my free time as long as I'm on time to work, and can perform my duties there competently.  Just because Charlie Sheen's skill set means his employment puts him in the public eye and pays more than mine does doesn't make his right to privacy any less than mine is.  Sheen's mistake was going on the radio and bitching about his employers.  If I were to do that I would be fired too, and deservedly so (that's why I don't mention my hotel by name on this blog, and assign pseudonyms to all my coworkers).

In a way it reminds me of the Michael Vick situation.  The man broke the law, paid his debt to society, and returned to work.  Just because his job was NFL Quarterback doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to.  If he were the night auditor for a hotel before he went to jail, and returned to being a night auditor after he was released no one would be complaining.  I don't believe a person should be held to a higher standard than anyone else.

In any case, when Charlie Sheen is dead in a few weeks we're all going to feel like assholes.

--  On an ever so slightly lighter note, a couple weeks ago I made the trek to Richmond for Allie's baby shower.  Not counting babies I was the only male there, and only knew a small handful of the guests, but had a wonderful time nonetheless.  It had been close to a year since I had seen Allie and it was great to see her and Dale.  Baby Campbell is cooking up just fine apparently, and is set to arrive in April.  I can't wait to be Uncle Dave, even though they will probably want me to touch the baby or something, maybe even pick him up.  Babies utterly terrify me until they're old enough to be Scotch, and I'm worried I'll break them or something.  I'll just have to get over it sooner or later, hopefully by April.  Just in case I'll hit up my loyal hive of scum and villainy for a handful of Xanax or Valium to take the edge off before I show up for the birth of my "nephew".

As a side note, the mother of one of the babies in attendance to the shower is single, and looks pretty slammin' post-baby.  She had already been voted "most likely to receive an injection of Vitamin D*", but last time I was up there she was engaged and utterly devoted to her incarcerated fiance.  Well, thanks to some spectacularly short sighted decision making her babydaddy is out of the picture, and I might just have to swoop in with my awkward, elbowy sexual techniques and exploit the all around feeling of joy that the arrival of Baby Campbell will no doubt bring to the Southern Richmond area.  Of course now that I know she's fertile I may have to change my tune.  If I were to knock her up I would just kill myself.

-- I came in second in the first annual Brewski's Tavern Oscar Poll.  Losing by one.  I was wrong on 4 of the awards that I actually put some thought and research into, and that apparently made the difference.  I thought David Fincher was a lock for Best Director and Christopher Nolan for Original Screenplay.  I also missed Best Supporting Actress (I guess the Academy realized that Hailie Steinfeld's performance was for a leading role, and didn't vote for her as a supporting actress), and Best Cinematography.  In both cases I guessed True Grit, and was wrong.  True Grit's shutout also led to me missing a bunch of other guesses.  Hopefully I'll do better next year.

My team did win the post Oscars game of Pictionary though.  So there's that.

--  That'll do it for tonight, boys and girls.  I'll be back again next week for more of whatever this is, and before I forget:

COME SEE SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS AND THE MALAMONDOS AT THE BLIND TIGER ON MARCH 11!!!!!!!

dave out

*  Vitamin D is what I call my semen

On a Cold and Gray Chicago Morn...

It's been a long goddamned night.  We had a giant ghetto party in the ballroom that occupied the entire lobby as well, as is our custom.  This hasn't been a huge problem in the past, but since my hotel rejoined the 21st century and got a name brand again we've actually had guests that expect the various amenities advertised to be available.  First and foremost among these being a lounge open during the advertised hours.  These giant ghetto parties require that we block off the entire bar area and our regular guests can't get in.  This really didn't sit right with a couple of redneck bitches and shit went south fast.  In the end I get the feeling that had there been a few hundred NASCAR enthusiasts behaving in much the same way as the few hundred african american people these particular women would not have had a problem, but whatever.  My Ombudsman duties are almost over for the night and I have Sunday night off, which will hopefully involve beer and naked ladies, but I'll bet it won't.

--  I've now seen all but one of this year's Oscar nominees for Best Picture, and the last one (Toy Story 3) is currently in my mailbox, so I will have seen it by the next time I update.  My picks are pretty much set, so I don't think that I really need to see TS3, but I've come so far already, why not go ahead and finish, ya know?

--  Locksmith courses have hit the Advanced stage.  The section on Safes and Vaults has been giving me a lot of trouble in particular.  Without a safe to practice on learning how to put a new combination on a safe or cleaning and maintenance is a little harder than I expected.  I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon enough, but hitting a wall like this one is a little frustrating.  Meh, such is life.

--  Sorry it's going to be a really short update this week.  I'm freaking exhausted and am having a hard time keeping my eyes open, so I'm shutting her down until next weekend.  See you then

dave out

Back to the Known

My hotel changed brands last week.  It had been a very frustrating period of months before the actual change took place, and my posts here would have been more venomous than normal, probably venturing into the territory of shit that would get me fired if anyone at work had seen it, so I put this here blog on hiatus for a couple of months.  Sorry about that, but I'm back, and hopefully I'll be able to overcome the inertia of inactivity from these past months and get back onto a regular update schedule.

--  My roommate Eddie had his birthday earlier this week, turning (I think) 37.  I stopped on the way home from work that morning and got him a slice of cake at the grocery store (day old=$1 off.  Score!).  He decided to celebrate by getting himself a midget hooker.  I was sitting in the living room, minding my own business and watching The Office when there was a quiet knock at the door.  It was a short girl of indeterminate race who Eddie quickly ushered into his bedroom.  I turned up the volume on the TV and she left about 10 minutes into Parks and Recreation.  Eddie proceeded to tell me all about the experience, stopping just short of the play by play.  Having never actually gotten a prostitute myself I found some of this information somewhat interesting, but after having lived together it seems odd that our longest conversation ever has been about some skank he just paid quite handsomely for a half hour of her time and vagina seems a bit odd.

Still like Eddie a lot though.  Wish he was renewing the lease in June so I wouldn't have to move.

--  The Oscars are in a couple weeks, and hopefully I will have seen all of the Best Picture nominees by the time the ceremony is held.  So far I've seen six out of the ten, and have 127 Hours paused in a different window as I type this, so by he time I get off from work in the morning it will be 7 out of 10.  So far my favorite of the films in contention is True Grit, which might have eclipsed Scott Pilgrim Versus the World as my favorite movie of the year.  However I think that The King's Speech will pull a Shakespeare In Love and walk away with the statue on Fab 27th.

Since Sara no longer works at Chumley's I'll be watching the Academy Awards at Brewskis Tavern, where the bartender and one of the owners are as big Oscar nerds as I am.  I don't think I'll have to do too much arm twisting to get Sara and Billy to come out for the evening, continuing our tradition in a new setting. 

For the record here are my picks:

Best Picture:  The King's Speech
Best Actor:  Colin Firth
Best Actress:  Natalie Portman
Best Supporting Actor:  Christian Bale
Best Supporting Actress:  Hailie Steinfeld
Best Director:  David Fincher
Best Screenplay Adapted:  Aaron Sorkin
Best Screenplay Original:  Christopher Nolan

Lock 'em in and take 'em to the bank people.  You read it here first.

--  I don't know if I mentioned this in my last post, but Debo got the axe.  He got caught sleeping on duty one too many times, which is apparently more than once.  What that means is that I work by myself on Friday and Saturday nights.  Works for me, but I kinda have to take a dump and can't be away from the front desk that long.  I mean if I gotta go I gotta go, but it would be just my luck that something catastrophic will go down during my fecal ritual and I'll have some 'splaining to do.  Maybe I'll eat some cheese and see if that'll bind things up long enough to get through the shift.

I generally prefer to work alone, even though The Wall and I have been getting along famously of late.  The Powers That Be are hemming and hawing about hiring someone else to pick up a couple of night shifts, and that would be fine as long as whoever they sucker in to taking this shitty job isn't a total asshole.  There's only room for one total asshole around here, and that's me.  If they do end up hiting someone it would only be for two nights a week, Tuesday and Friday, leaving me by myself on Saturdays and The Wall flying solo on Sundays.  I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic.

--  The Malamondos have recorded their third album, and in my humble opinion it's the best one yet.  And I say that objectively, not because my brother is Dr. ReX Diablo, the bass player.  I've heard 15 of the 19 songs recorded, and I'm not sure what all is going to actually be on the CD when it comes out, but it's badass across the board, and I'm looking forward to the album dropping in the near future.  They're playing on March 11 in Greensboro at the Blind Tiger if you're inclined to go.  I highly recommend seeing them live.  They put on a great show, and they're opening up for Southern Culture on the Skids, whom I have never seen, but have the reputation of being one of the best live acts around.

--  My campaign to get my best friend to name her kid after Bruce Campbell failed, which is a bummer, but I honestly have absolutely no say in such decisions, nor should I.  They decided to go with what I'm assuming is a family name of her husband's.  It's a fine choice, but in the interest of privacy I won't get into specifics.  I'm still sure to be a lock for the position of Favorite Uncle, so I'm happy.  Since unless something crazy happens I won't be having any kids of my own, I plan on spoiling the hell out of that little guy.  Hopefully my "All Daddy Wanted Was A Blowjob" and "I Can Kick Your Baby's Ass" baby t-shirts arrive from T-Shirt Hell before April.  I also got a promise from a friend that she would let Little Campbell (as I will continue to call him here) bang her daughter in 18 years.  I haven't seen the daughter in question, but her mom's a natural redhead with a nice rack and a kinda sexy gap tooth thing going on, so it looks promising.

--  It's 4:15 and I still have about 20 minutes of 127 Hours to watch, so I'm gonna go ahead and get on that.  Ideally I'll be updating here again next weekend at the latest, but if I don't please don't hold it against me.  Until then.

dave out

2011

I'm overjoyed to have 2011 here.  2010 can go fuck itself, because of the sucking.  2010 wasn't the worst year on record, but over all I wasn't a fan.

Last year I made 3 new years resolutions, and all three were epic failures.  Assault on Mount Laundry flirted with success, and I honestly think would have held up longer if my old roommate's hillbilly stepdaughter coulda kept her goddamn legs together.  Last spring I moved into my current apartment with Eddie, and while the apartment itself is an improvement over Jaye's condo, I miss HDTV and laundry facilities.  Now I make a biweekly trek to my parents house and visit with them, do 2 loads of laundry, and pick up that week's fix from the comic book store.  My other two resolutions were pretty much DOA.  Watching all the movies I own and haven't seen is a noble pursuit to be sure, but not gonna happen when I'm trying to get as much value as possible from my Netflix account.  And dating?  Yeah, I don't know what I was expecting to happen there.

At least I managed to stay employed all year.  As much as I bitch about my job (both here and in the real world) I actually do like it.  I just hate not making enough money.  Hopefully in a little over a month I will have given the hotel the old heave-ho and be making good money as a locksmith.  Hopefully.

--  On the movie front, I've been watching a lot of stuff over Netflix streaming on my PS3.  Mostly TV shows and documentaries.  Damages, the FX lawyer show with Glenn Close is pretty awesome, and the show Better Off Ted is one of the funniest sitcoms I've seen in ages.  Both are highly recommended.

--  I'm freaking exhausted here so I'm gonna stop typing.  I'll be back tomorrow night with what I hope will be a more coherent post.  Sorry.

dave out

A Tiny Update

It's been a while since my last update, and I apologize for that.  Between Hulu and studying locksmithing on the clock, my free time at work that I used to write this blog is now going toward other pursuits.  Locksmith training is continuing to go swimmingly, but now I'm starting to get scared that North Carolina is going to refuse to give me a license, and I will have spent a bunch of time and money for nothing.  And I'll still be sitting here behind a hotel front desk all night for the rest of my life.

--  On the good news front, my BFF Allie is knocked up.  I'm not sure if the term "knocked up" is really appropriate, since she's married and they have been trying to have a baby for a while now, but whatever.  Since my brother and I won't be having kids any time soon (if ever) this is as close as I'm going to get to being an uncle for a while, and I am very, very excited.  She found out today that they are having a boy, and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that Uncle Dave is a big part of little Myron (or whatever)'s life.

--  I went and saw the new Harry Potter movie and The Town a few days ago, and both were excellent.  I'm really looking forward to the end of the Potter saga.  I loved all the books and have generally liked all of the films a lot. 

Now that we're getting into Oscar season I'm hoping to see a lot more movies than I have been lately.  Next on the docket is probably Black Swan, and after that I'm not sure.  I would like to see all of the Best Picture nominees this year, but that hasn't happened in a long time.

--  One of the things I actually like about my shitty job is that I have lots of free time during the day.  Granted, I don't always (or ever, really) make the best use of said time, but whatever.  If I want to go see a movie or something I can usually do so.  Of course I'm usually too broke for such extravagances, which would be one of the things that I don't like about my shitty job.  That's why I'm really hoping that this locksmithing thing works out.  In my mind I'm due for a win, but the universe may beg to differ.  We'll see.  If all goes well, this time next year I'll be self employed, working a more normal schedule and making a decent living.  This barely scraping by on a good month bullshit has got to stop before I lose my mind.

--  I had something else I wanted to write about tonight, but can't remember what it was for the life of me.  So I'm gonna cut this one short and get back to watching Desperate Housewives (don't you judge me).  More to come soon.

dave out

The Things I Am Thankful For (or is it the things for which I am thankful?)

Puppies, Bunnies, Kittens, Power Tools, Low Monthly Payments With Zero Interest (for school, not merchandise), Chicks With Low Standards and Oral Fixations, Paul F Tompkins, Friends, Family, The Crack ER Staff At Baptist Hospital, My Pretend Niece or Nephew Arriving Aprilish, Fried Chicken, Joss Whedon, Marvel Comics, Jackie Chan, Boobs, Netflix Instant Streaming on the PS3, Apps from Bender's Tavern, Apps from Blackberry App World, No-Wipers, Seattle Seahawks, Slayer, Portabello Mushrooms, Comfy Shoes, The Times I Didn't Get Caught, God, Kanye Never Interrupting Me, Pizza, Oreos, The Ramones, Lesbians, Tesco Vee, Mickey Rourke, John Belushi, Good Burger (both the film and an actual, you know, burger), Louise Simonson, Paul Thomas Anderson NOT Paul W. S. Anderson, Lemmy, Obsidian Entertainment, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Jagermeister, Camel Turkish Silvers, Michael O'Donoghue, The West Virginia Surf Report, The Onion AV Club, Hulu, Youporn dot com, The Funk of 40,000 Years, Dr. Perry Cox, My Job, Alec Baldwin, Stan Lee, Quiznos, Coverville, Kevin Smith, Las Vegas, John Paul George and Ringo, The Beastie Boys, Jack Burton and the Pork Chop Express, Maureen McCormick, Morris Day and the Time, Jack Reacher, Donal Logue, Jon Lovitz, Coca-Cola, Katy Perry's Tits, Kevin Nealon's Twitter Feed, Vic Tayback, Jenna Fischer, Jenna Haze, Gene Okerlund, The Handful of Pills I Take Every Morning To Go To Sleep, Trivia Tuesdays, Moe Mondays, The Malamondos, Mondo Boxo, Tenacious D, Crock Pots, Crack Pots, Lew Zealand and his Boomerang Fish, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Cable TV, Tommy Wiseau, George Clinton, Ricardo Montalban, Frisky Dingo, Maybe Being Able To Take A Vacation In 2011, William Zabka, Matt Nix, Stephen J. Cannell, Don Knotts, and of course you.  My readers are the best, coolest half dozen or so people on the planet, and I appreciate each and every one of you.

dave out

Been a Slow Couple Weeks

I've started writing about three or four different topics tonight, and can't seem to put a coherent paragraph or two together about anything.  Despite my huge riboflavin intake the switch from daylight savings time to standard time has utterly kicked my ass.  Falling back is supposed to give you an extra hour of sleep, but since I work third shift I had an extra hour of work, and haven't been able to string together more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep at a time since.  This has left me as a mostly functional zombie for the past week, and more than a little cranky.  Eventually something in my brain will give out and I'll sleep for 16 hours straight and everything will go back to normal, but in the meantime it royally sucks.  Grrr...

--  Due to my recent change in internet service providers my PS3 is now on a super fast Wiffy connection and the good people at Netflix have allowed unlimited streaming of movies and whatnot straight to my TV.  I now officially get absolutely nothing done at home any more.  What time I spend not in bed trying desperately to get some sleep I spend scrolling through the available movies and TV shows.  They have approximately two metric shittons of stuff to watch on there and it is seriously eating in to the DVD watching time I'm paying Netflix for in the first place... I've had a copy of Mario Bava's Black Sabbath since before Halloween.  I put it in to watch yesterday, but stopped after a few minutes.  It's in Italian with English subtitles, and while I have no problem with subtitles, there are just too many distractions around for me to give it enough attention to make worthwhile.  I really want to see it, but if I can't buckle down and watch it tomorrow I'm sending it back unwatched.  I also have Dead Alive, which I've seen dozens of times and the complete series of Father of the Pride.  Both of which I will definitely get to soon.

--  Speaking of Halloween, this year I dressed up as Walter Sobchak.  I am quite proud of this year's costume.  Usually I try to cobble together a Halloween costume from whatever I have laying around, but ole Walter might just become a regular thing for me.  Maybe I'll start a new tradition of dressing up as a new John Goodman character every year... We'll see.  There's plenty of time.

I didn't see as many slutted up hot chicks this year, probably because Halloween fell on a Sunday so all the skanks went out Saturday night.  Shame I missed them.  Tits on display is why Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.  Apparently there were lots of skimpy Lady Gaga costumes out and about that weekend... I do recall one girl dressed entirely in yellow caution tape and a blonde wig.  It was good times.

--  I went by my brother's place today, and got to listen to the rough demos for the new Malamondos album.  Good stuff.  It hasn't been mixed down yet, but the songs are all solid to great, and when they hit the studio in January I think they'll be ready to whomp much ass.  They are also talking about recording a cover song a month starting in January and releasing it only to their mailing list subscribers, so I recommend that you head to their website and sign up. 

Mikey's continuing to heal up after his accident.  His face is pretty much all healed up, and he just needs his back to stop being broken and get his teef fixed and he'll be right as rain.  Looking at him you wouldn't believe that this time last month he had over 160 stitches in his face.  Frankly he's a little pissed that the plastic surgeons did such a good job... his thoughts (and I agree) are that if he stopped a bike with his face and broke his back, he should at least have some cool scars.  Oh well, I guess I won't be the pretty one after all.

--  I wanted to write about famous people I know, but couldn't find a way to approach the topic without sounding like a royal douche.  I don't have any really famous friends, but there are a few people I knew in high school and college that have gained some notoriety in the years since.  It's just weird that a guy I took drama classes with in high school goes to movie premieres and signs autographs, and that the drummer for Prong comments on stupid pictures that I find and post to my facebook page.  I know that first and foremost they're my schoolmates Cullen and Alexei, but sometimes I get a little twinge of excitement thinking that maybe Tommy Victor is laughing at some picture I found online because his drummer has me listed as a "friend" not a "fan".

I'm seriously starting to get a little loopy here so I'm going to quit writing and go outside for a few minutes.  Here's hoping that the cold air will wake me up.

dave out